You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize