idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
