Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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