That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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