I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
