also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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