OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize