9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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