So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize