this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize