too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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