Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
