...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I FOUND THE LEGS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
