if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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