stop calling my apartment porn island.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
