For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
