No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
