Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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