I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
