i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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