i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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