question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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