Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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