Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize