I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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