hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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