Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
