escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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