Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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