How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize