i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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