so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
