Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
