are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
