whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
