In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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