i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
