why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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