2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Shame - the story of my life.
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