SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
