I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
