Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize