You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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