I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
