You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize