brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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