I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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