my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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