i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
