We won't sleep together?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize