he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
