based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
