I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
