the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
