We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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