If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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