I'm jealous of your bromance
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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