Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
