my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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