Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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