I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
